Do you really deserve it?

I always thought that the feeling of entitlement came from those who depended on the government for their financial needs. I did not think that the feelings of entitlement could be expressed by someone like Tiger Woods. How could someone so rich feel entitled?

A couple weeks ago someone I know said that they felt justified in taking someone’s deposit outside of the terms of a contract because he worked so hard. He felt entitled to take the money. This past week Tiger Woods publicly apologized for his behavior. He said, “normal rules did not apply I thought only of myself”, “I worked hard my entire life and I deserve to enjoy all the temptations around me”, “I felt entitled”. Wow! A person like Tiger feeling entitled.
Since I have reflected on whether there have been times that I too have felt entitled. Have I justified my behavior because I have worked so hard so I deserve to have what I want? Ok maybe I have not slept around with dozens of men or have taken money that a contract specifically said I could not have but I have felt entitled.

In my current marriage I have felt that I deserve a husband that is devoted to me and adores me. I deserve a husband that thinks only of my needs. I was in a 17 year marriage where my husband could not focus on me. I was in a marriage that had very little intimacy and endured it for 17 years so in this new marriage I deserve it, right? The real estate industry has been tough for 2 years and I have made it through this so I deserve to reap all the benefits as the recovery has begun, right? Where is the line between feeling entitled and having passion to go for what you want? When does desire and dreaming become entitlement and narcissistic?

I do not know the answer and I am looking for opinions from others. I do know that to stay out of fear and to stay in love is the first step. And I do know that I will never give up dreaming or my passion for what it is I want to give to the world. Maybe I will just have to check in with myself more often with the question, “do I feel a sense of entitlement to this goal or dream”?

What Defines You?

Last Saturday I attended a funeral of a close business associate. His name was Dan. Dan was in the mortgage business. I was technically employed by Dan since he held my mortgage license. I had known Dan for almost 2 years. What I loved about Dan was his great smile and the generousity and sincerety behind the smile. I saw Dan every Monday in my business networking group. As you know the mortgage industry as all but collapsed and the real estate industry is in the same state. No matter how bad things seemed, Dan was not going to let the negative energy pull him down. I considered his energy my lifeline to get through this crisis. He passed away on October 16th. The Saturday prior he rode 35 miles on his bike (a regular routine). He died in his sleep from a clogged artery. The priest at the funeral said that because Dan was such a giving person and we loved taking from him that we clogged his artery. My first reaction was to stand up and scream that the mortgage industry did it. But obviously I restrained myself. I reminded myself that the blame game has to stop and start with me. As I listened to the rest of the service I found out who Dan really was. There were very few people there in comparison the to total (which was alot since the large church was full) that had anything to do with what Dan did Monday through Friday during the days. What I found out that Dan had another life outside of work. He was know for volunteering for any initiative that had to do with housing and feeding the homeless. He was known to go down to the harshest parts of Minneapolis and pick up the homeless and hungry and bring them home. There were people in the audience that has sincere gratitude for what he had done for them. I thought about my own funeral. If I passed today my funeral would more than likely have lots of attendees (I do know alot of folks) however who would they be? I can tell you that the majority would be through the real estate and mortgage business. Do is what I do defining who I am? What Dan did for a living did not define who he was. I have always thought that by not marketing my name and my photo on bus benches that I would avoid this. Well I believe I was wrong. Who I am today is defined by what I do. So the question is what am I going to do about it going forward? Dan had just turned 60 so he did have some years on me so the postive thing is I can accomplish this over the next dozen years. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.