Whose Clothes Are You Wearing?

Do you ever go through times when you dream every night so vividly that you could swear they are real? I recently saw the move “Inception” (which is probably the reason I am remembering my dreams so vividly) and I found the concept of dreaming within different levels of consciousness very intriguing.

Saturday morning I woke up with a graphical drawing in my mind that I could recite with great detail. It had to do with clothes that our parent’s buy for us as babies and then as we go through life we out grow them. This would not be abnormal for a dream since it does seem odd however I knew when I woke that it actually had to do with beliefs and values that we inherit from our parents.

We know that our parents did the best job that they could given the information they had at the time. And we know as parents we are always doing the best we can. The question I have struggled with since waking on Saturday morning is whether I am still trying to squeeze on the clothes (or should I really say beliefs and values) that my parent’s gave me. Since then I can’t help but look at others and notice the clothes they are wearing and then drift off to what that person believes and what they show up valuing day after day and wonder; are they wearing clothes they chose or are they simply the same clothes they were given as infants? Then I start to giggle because I imagine this person struggling wearing VERY small clothing and trying hard to act normal. Then I realize how real this situation is. There are people walking around in too tight of clothing (figuratively speaking). Their human potential is being limited just because they refuse to try different clothes. So what keeps us from trying so hard to hold on to what our parent’s said and did (and possible still do)?

Recently my husband brought home a book on vegetarianism after visiting his father. The book was written in 1950 by a man that was not an expert in vegetarianism. But he was an expert in trans sexualism. But yet since this book was given to my husband from his Dad he felt obligated to bring it home. In today’s world with all the information coming at us from so many direction and with all the knowledge that we continue to gain so rapidly the idea of basing any merit on something like that seems almost ridicules. But it did come from a parent.

Last night I was at a wedding sitting next to a friend and his 4 year old. I sat and watched the dynamics closely. The boy watched Dad’s every move emulating not only verbally but non verbally. It was almost shocking. This helped me understand the true power our parent’s have in our lives regardless if they are dead or alive. And now I am conscious of the control and influence that I have over my own children. Going forward I can commit to making sure that my children understand that it is necessary to always try new clothes on and that what looks good today will be out of style in a very short period of time. They will know that I support their choice in what clothing best fits who they are and best supports them for what their purpose is in life. What suits me does not necessarily suit them.

The last scene in the movie “Inception” did depict this concept. There is an old man lying on his death bed with his son next to his side. His son apologizes for never being good enough and for disappointing his father for not being like him. His father’s last words were, “son I only wanted you to be your own man”.