Being the Right Person

How often have you heard someone say they are single because they have not found the right person? The relationship could work if I found the right partner. This is often how we think about relationships, whether it is a romantic relationship, business partner or simple friendships. What we are really saying is that we do not want to change. If someone is going to be in our life, they have to fit us. Is this truly possible? Do we really want someone that is exactly what we want that fits us and we do not fit them? I heard this great statement a few weeks back and I have been using it daily. Here is goes: It is not as much about finding the right person, as it is about being the right person in a relationship. Wow! Now that means something totally different. Next time you are frustrated with how someone in your life it acting. Turn it around and say, "Am I being the right person in this relationship?” Is what I am hoping for from them something that I do? I can guarantee you that this will make you see the other person’s behavior much differently. We often fantasize about perfect relationships. This is great. Dream on. However, ask yourself who someone needs to be in this "perfect" relationship and are you acting that way? You have to be the right person in a relationship before you can see it in someone else. That may not change the other person. They may not be the right person. But I can guarantee that if you practice being the right person the other half will show up and your dreams then will come true. Try this exercise (and then make a list of your own).

Instead of: Replace with:

I want a best friend I am a best friend
I want to be loved I am loving
I want to be respected I am respectful
I want to be valued I value others
I want to be thanked I express thanks to others
I want to be hugged I give hugs generously