Friends For Life

Have you ever declared a female friendship? Really asked another woman to be your friend? Ten years ago I was really missing female kinship. I was in the mist of running a real estate and mortgage company. Most of my peers were men and at my office I kept my relationships arms length (at that time in my life I believed that business and personal was better not to be mixed). I was attending a business seminar and was sitting next to a guy who I had just met. Over break he mentioned a friend of his from San Francisco. He said that I reminded him of her. He went on to say that she had mentioned to him that she was looking to meet women that she could be friends with (not necessarily just business). He asked if I was interested. Being from conservative Minnesota this type of directness threw me a little. At my age do you really ask someone to be your friend? Well I was looking for a woman friend that I could connect with too. So I agreed. He said, "Great she will be waiting at the woman's restroom during break". And he went on to describe her as a fun, smart "wine” gal (she was married into a vineyard family in Sonoma). It was as if he was selling me on the idea of being her friend. It felt very deliberate. I liked a fine glass of wine so what the heck.
I did meet her at the restroom during break and we connected immediately. We both committed to each other to be friends right there on the spot. Friendships with women for me had always just been assumed. Instead of committing you tolerated. That day we both wanted the same thing, friends for life. This friendship has made me realize that committed intimate relationships are not necessarily romantic. Most women expect the majority of their needs to be filled by a man. Is that realistic? During the past 10 years she and I have been there for each other through divorce, birth of children, marriage ups and downs, business woes and opportunities (oh and a few glasses of wine) and the gratitude that I have for the guy who introduced us is enormous. The feeling of comfort I have when I think of the having someone there who understands me has given me strength that I had missed in my life prior to meeting her. I owe a huge thank you to the "wine" gal who had the courage to ask for a friend. Thanks for being in my life Gina. I love you.